One Year After the Documentary
It has been a wild year for me, with a lot of unexpected twists and turns.
About this time last year, we were getting ready to wrap up our final filming of the documentary, “Get Smart with Money.” The film didn’t air until almost 9 months later in the fall of 2022. However, we were wrapping up our experience of deep diving into our financial lives.
So much footage and details of our journey were not shown on the film. Like our struggle to actually get the individualized coaching we really needed around what to do with our retirement accounts and the investments and therefore reaching out to a financial advisor for support to figure out what to do with our investments. Subsequently, realizing this financial advisor, who had been recommended by a trusted friend and someone in the field of finances, had enrolled our retirement accounts under the umbrella of annuities. We wanted to share with the world, our experience, our frantic effort to get our accounts out of these NY Life Annuities before we started incurring all kinds of unnecessary and expensive fees. We were hoping we might save some other folks the stress of what we learned the hard way.
So many other details were not included along our journey as well - like our interest in potentially living in Costa Rica and being filmed looking at houses we could potentially buy there - and why we ultimately chose to stay. Or the fact that 3K of our 10K of monthly expenses were going to childcare alone. Or the reality that it is just much easier for us to focus on making more money than living in financial restriction. Oh - and how the wildfires almost took out our house while we were in Costa Rica and our choice to rent out our home to someone who did lose their house in the fire for the last 9 months.
We learned a lot along the way. And have deepened our understanding of finances since then as well. I suppose there are a few key items I have learned during and after the film I would love to share with you. In no particular order, here are some important lessons we learned:
Having rental properties is like having another business
Even if it may be less time consuming overall, we found that renting our properties was energetically draining. Having the pressure of making sure it is rented out and maintained, that tenants won’t destroy it, that you are not operating at a loss, etc etc. It is a financial strain hanging over your head and draining your energy.
One property I had purchased prior to meeting John, supposedly a great investment according to a trusted family friend and real estate agent, actually ended up being a net $400/mo negative, causing me to lose over $30K in the time I owned it - not bringing in any positive cash flow. We chose to sell it and eat the expenses because otherwise we would have had to continue paying into for another 10 years to make any profit off of it.
Regardless, you either pay the fee to have a rental taken care of for you or you take care of maintenance yourself and in my opinion, both are draining, either energetically or financially. After renting our home out for the last 9 months while exploring another area, we decided to focus on my businesses rather than adding another business of owning rental properties to our already full plate. We would rather invest our money in other ways. In fact we plan to sell this house and use the money to pay off a big chunk of our next (and hopefully significantly smaller) mortgage to relieve the energetic weight of the mortgage. Even though we know intellectually that putting it into investments may be a smarter choice. We have come to the conclusion that it is all about energy and sometimes a financial decision is not the best way to go for our overall well being. Anywho - I feel like you have to love owning property and being a landlord and you have to have the energy to focus on it if you want to own rental properties. And we don’t have either.
You don’t need a financial advisor to make investments for you
As I mentioned, we made the mistake of hiring a financial advisor thinking he would charge a small fee to make good investments for us. This was a recommendation from a trusted friend whom we and she believed would do right by us. Instead, he swindled us into annuities without telling us and was going to charge exorbitant fees to not predict the stock market any better than the rest of us.
When we researched, we learned that only 1% of the population can beat the stock market or something ridiculous like that. Here’s a great article from a new friend about it. The reality is that paying someone to pick your investments will guarantee that any gains you have from that advisor “beating the market” will be eaten up by those fees and then some.
Just following an index fund is more likely to get you the best return. Unless you make it your job. Again - if you are really into playing the stock market game - go for it. It is like gambling. A few people get really really good at it. So kudos if you are one of them. Read “The Simple Path to Wealth” if you are interested in learning more.
If you want help deciding what to do with your money in general, you can hire an RIA on a flat hourly rate to help you create a plan for what types of accounts to put your money in. But be wary of the fees you will pay if you use the accounts they suggest or manage. We use Vanguard because the fees are super minimal. It is beneficial for you to learn the basics about retirement and shorter term investment accounts so you don’t get taken advantage of. Personally, we use IRAs, Roth IRAs, SEPs and money market accounts. It was a hard process for me to do learn about these accounts and investments but I am really glad I learned the basics at this point.
For some people saving is aligned with their strengths and coping mechanisms, for some people making more money is aligned with their strengths and coping
After being fully immersed in the Mustachian community while having a female business coach juxtaposed, I started to really understand the difference between the two philosophies. One says restrict and save to create freedom and align with your values. One says make lots of money in order to create freedom and align with your values.
And I do believe that your coping mechanisms with money (and in general) have a lot to do with which strategy you can be most successful with. After all, our coping mechanisms are also our greatest strengths. Pete, Mr. Money Mustache is great at restricting spending. He enjoys walking along the river in his neighborhood, simplicity and he values environmentalism so does not like to drive much. He also is comfortable and happy living a modest lifestyle without much luxury or big adventure.
My female coaches like luxury and for things to look pretty. They enjoy tapping into creativity to find ways to make the money they desire. They travel, they eat well, they need money to live this way. And they make it happen.
One of the huge take-aways for me in this experience is that I am not like Pete and also not like my coaches. I live in the middle. And it is helpful for me to both be disciplined with spending (without being restrictive, because that feels misaligned and depletes my energy) as well as to bring in more income by way of creativity. It is way easier for me to make money than restrict it. And the opposite is true for my partner.
The one thing that I can say to you about this is to make sure that you choose the strategy(ies) that fit your strengths and coping in order to thrive. For a while there, I was overly restrictive and overly concerned about retiring early and I do believe that frantic energy was part of what landed me in the hospital with sepsis a few months after wrapping up filming.
Focusing energy on finding financial freedom by way of breaking down embodied limiting beliefs works.
Seriously. At first it is overwhelming to even consider honestly looking at your money. Then after some runs through your financial house, you start to feel more comfortable. Then you start to develop a plan - a budget. Then you learn to follow the budget, set goals and even start to save money. Then you start to save a decent amount of money. Then you suddenly start to feel less burdened and stressed out all the time.
You can even conquer limiting beliefs like:
“I will never have enough money”
“I will always have to hustle for money”
“I don’t deserve to have financial freedom”
“I am not worthy of a decent income”
“I am not smart enough to get ahead in my career”
I know because I have worked on all of these and at some point in my past, I truly believed these statements. You have to dedicate time and energy to it. And you HAVE to PRIORITIZE it to so many other items on your to-do list - seriously, nothing can get in the way. You can do this.
Money is a means to be connected with what matters most to you - but it only works if you bring awareness to it
At the beginning of filming, I had finally let myself fly free of a budget. I had spent several years prior in energetic, financial and physical deficit. I was a new mom of 2 kiddos and a new business owner in a relationship that was just 4 years old. We were coming out of COVID and had two bored toddlers in a tiny house. We were finally making some traction when it came to financial income from my business and I was finally giving myself some freedom to spend without restriction. To finally feel the deficit lifting. I mayyyy have been overcompensating a little bit….
Throughout the documentary process, it became crystal clear that if I continued spending like I was, we would have to work full time for the remainder of our “working” years in order to retire. And it also became clear that that was not in alignment for us. We wanted to be able to use our funds to have awesome experiences together and to create more of a sense and experience of freedom in our daily lives and future.
So, begrudgingly, I went back on a budget. And we were able to achieve our goal to start saving again and go on a really cool and long adventure together. We also made a plan for early retirement and are continuing to work on that now. We are making a trip to the beach during the holidays a family tradition and I even took a full month off of work this year to electively and properly heal from a medical procedure. Now it feels like our money is aligned with our values - connection, presence, freedom and joy.
Imagine if we had not signed on for the documentary, I would still be spending mindlessly to reward my hustle and we would be set up to work to age of 65+. It takes effort to live a spectacular life. It takes focus, discipline and effort.
Maybe you don’t actually have to hustle for financial freedom for the rest of your life?
My understanding of financial freedom has changed a lot over the last year. Instead of it meaning that I have to hustle to create more and more income, I have begun to embody a healthy work/life balance. I have recognized the importance of finding the right balance of work to personal life for me to feel good both in the now and the future rather than solely setting myself up for the future (being overly restrictive) or solely indulging in the now (overspending). Of course my body was the catalyst for this process, landing myself in the hospital with a kidney stone and sepsis in February.
Due to many years of hustle, I had learned a really cool trick - bypassing my physical body’s sensations in order to keep hustling/working. And because of that, I spent a week wondering if I was actually sick when my body was going into sepsis. This was a huge wake up call. It caused me to slow down and completely restructure my businesses in a way that put me into more of a managerial position rather than being the hands on healer (cutting out 20 hours a week of 1:1 work over the last year).
So while I could hustle to make more and more - I would be continuing to destroy my body in the process. I have spent the better part of 2022 being terrified of letting go of the financial freedom I had finally begun to build to prioritize taking care of my body instead. And believe it or not, I organically and quickly found a way to make the money I needed to feel secure without the hustle.
I do believe it is important for us to put our bodies first before it is too late. And I do encourage you to consider that maybe you don’t have to hustle to be happy.
Financial freedom gives you space to grow
Thankfully, that hospital trip changed my 2022 dramatically. The year became a continual process of creating more and more space in my daily life for my wellness. And the more space I created, the more hustle I dropped, the more my values and awakenings came to the forefront. I am still surprised to say that I have had major awakenings around the following this year. Because I stopped creating unnecessary chaos and started taking better care of myself. It is wild to me that these areas of life and thinking have suddenly come front and center for me because prior, they were in my mind and I had awareness, but there was not space for them to fully surface and process:
* Capitalism and how it oppresses women and under resourced communities
* The embodiment of internalized toxic patriarchy and societal norms
* My own struggle with presence with my children
* My privilege and ways I have contributed to white supremacy
* The state of our environment and how I want to advocate
* That I am still burnt out and need time to truly heal and get into deeper spiritual and body attunement with me
* That my passion lies more in creation than hands on teaching right now
Not only have I had huge awakenings in these areas, but for the first time in my life, I feel connected to them through and through. I feel them in my body, I feel them emotionally and energetically. I am connected to feeling them. It is only through the release of the hustle that I could get there.
AND the best part is that I have created all this space and I can now do more of what I love in a more accessible way. I am writing these blogs and sharing them with you. I can share on Instagram, which believe it or not, I consciously decided to build more time into my work day to do - because I really LOVE it. I really love sharing and creating. It feels SO GOOD to claim that and be actively doing it instead of doing what I thought I had to to make money and thrive. And the individuals I do work with - I can give even more of my magic, power and presence to. It feels pretty excellent y’all.
And that’s pretty much it. There is so much more detail that went into my process and life over the last 2 years. Life is so complex. But I hope these little tidbits and anecdotes speak to you.
Comments? Feedback? Connect with me at kim@kimmassale.com or comment below!